A LARGE Call To Be small.

So many times, as a youth pastor, you can get kind of a big head. Some of those who know me, might say "Snyder has a huge head, it's like an orange on a toothpick." But I don't mean a big head physically, even though I do carry a gargantuan noggin about. But I'm talking about ego wise. Not that I think I'm the greatest, as a matter of fact, I would rank myself pretty low. I look at others creativity and gifts and think, "I wish I had that." The constant comparison to someone else, what a battle. Enough of the rant. What I mean by my opening statement is that it's easy to look at a group that is growing rapidly and pretty large and think you've done something great. It's easy to listen to people tell you how great the message you delivered was, and on the outside say "It's wasn't mine, it was God's", but inside be thinking. "Yeah, it was. Thanks". It's pretty easy to begin to think that you are doing some great things for God.

But there is an enormous problem here. We can do nothing on our own. It's only by the grace of God that we can do anything at all. John 15:5 says "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." We can do nothing, we are nothing. Yet we see ourselves as important, integral to God's plan, and necessary. But the goal of a Christian should be to fade away into obscurity. I know that sounds harsh , but it's true. If we take John's words to heart when he said "He must become greater; I must become less."

Become less. That goes against everything that my flesh cries out for. I want to be known, I want to be in front, to be noticed, to be identified as important, to stand in the spot light and be applauded for my efforts and my accomplishments. But it's the desire of my heart to be less, so much more less. That so much of me fades away, that all that remains is Christ. That my desire to accomplish so much pales in comparison to the actual smallness of my efforts. As Helen Keller said, "I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."

But how will I know when I am beginning to fade away? When people stop saying "thank you" and start saying, "That could only be God."